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Local Child Conducts Unscheduled Public Inquiry During Lift Ride

SINGAPORE — Filed by The Nonsense Desk

A local child has once again demonstrated a commitment to transparency after asking a question that every adult in the lift had successfully avoided for decades.

The incident occurred during a routine lift ride when the child suddenly pointed at a fellow passenger and asked: "Why is this uncle so fat?"

Sources confirmed that the lift immediately entered a state of emergency silence. The child's parent reportedly experienced all five stages of grief within 1.8 seconds.

"Look! Buttons!" said the parent.

However, the child remained committed to obtaining factual clarification. The uncle in question displayed remarkable composure and responded with a laugh.

"Because uncle likes chicken rice."

The answer appeared satisfactory. The child nodded thoughtfully and accepted the explanation. Investigations later revealed the parent spent the next six hours replaying the event internally. The uncle, meanwhile, had forgotten about it before reaching the car park.

At press time The child was believed to be preparing several follow-up questions regarding baldness, age, and why some aunties have moustaches.

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No. 002

Human Relations

Two Office Workers Enter Fourth Year Of Mutual Recognition Without Formal Introduction

The pair first encountered each other sometime in 2022 while waiting for a lift. Sources say the optimal greeting window lasted approximately three weeks. Unfortunately, both parties missed it.

"After a certain period, introducing yourself feels like admitting you've been accidentally ignoring someone for 14 months."

No. 003

Workplace

Local Man Achieves Peak Productivity By Walking Around Office Looking Concerned

A local business owner reported a highly productive morning after spending 27 minutes walking around the office with a thoughtful expression and a clipboard. Witnesses confirmed no actual work was completed.

"Everyone has water now."

No. 004

Food & Economics

Colleagues Launch Independent Investigation Into Meaning Of "Large"

Two colleagues began an informal inquiry after discovering that a medium-sized meal and a large-sized meal appeared to differ by less than one mouthful. The additional $2 remains unaccounted for.

"Authorities suspect it may have been converted directly into hope."

The small unnoticed things are
holding everything together.

The Nonsense Desk covers daily life in Singapore with the seriousness it deserves: which is to say, quite a lot.

We report on lift lobbies, portion sizes, accidental leadership, and children who ask questions adults have carefully avoided for decades.

No hot takes. No agenda. No sponsored content disguised as opinions. Just the quietly remarkable news of ordinary days.

We believe the water dispenser deserves recognition. We believe the uncle was fine the whole time. We believe what you have with the stranger in the lift is, in fact, infrastructure.

Local Child Conducts Unscheduled Public Inquiry During Lift Ride

Two Office Workers Enter Fourth Year Of Mutual Recognition Without Formal Introduction

Local Man Achieves Peak Productivity By Walking Around Office Looking Concerned

Colleagues Launch Independent Investigation Into Meaning Of "Large"

The small unnoticed things areholding everything together.

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The small unnoticed things are
holding everything together.